Kianikabob

=D

2008-07-05T00:29:55Z

Today I be in crazytown...

I wonder...

Anyway! Misha is all freaked out and has been in the covers of my bed for about 12 hours XD

She's a cute and funny kitty.

o_o I'm really hungry. My mom told me not to eat cause were going out but then she went to work on cleaning her bathroom for like oneZILLION hours and now they are getting the dog comfortable it its crate....

Im about to drive to carls if we dont leave in like 5 seconds.

I SWEARRRRRrrrrrrrr x_x

:(

2008-06-27T00:47:05Z

Everything I have done seems as if it is far away from my new standards. I am glad because I can see the mistakes in it, however I took so much stock into it and put in so much time. How much time will I waste trying to perfect the imperfect?

>8D

2008-06-25T19:43:04Z

I R PLAY WOW

Serv: ANTONIDAS

char: lv 16 Dreinei hunter

U R JOIN NAOW

I have Returned

2008-06-14T18:40:58Z

And thus I had concluded my journey from the heart of Russia and was hand delivered by that of German Air. If one took me aside to ask of the details of this journey I would open my mouth and not be able to speak a word of it. There is simply too much information and the question too wide and too general to merely say it was amazing or life changing. I have met people of all walks of life on this trip, and my mind and body have adapted to the conditions necessary to move forward. I have learned and seen so many things. This year I hope to hone my skills as an artist the best I possibly can with my new intelligence. I am glad in my heart...

and I am free...

:D

2008-05-11T17:26:04Z

OK guyz! I go wander Europe and Russia now! Be back in a month!

DONT FORGET TO BRING A TOWEL!

And so one day the monster known as Katje awoke from her cave and rubbed the sleepies out of her eyes and took n the sights and sounds of the world. Today, she thought, I will venture forth to new places and see new things and smell new smells...and maybe even taste some new tastes. With one hoof infront of the other she walked forward, ready to experience all that the world had to offer.

In another place, a certain vampire awoke with his usual putrid morning breath. He had tickets to some indescriminate location in Europe on his night stand...there was work to be done.

Second Wind...

2008-04-19T17:43:11Z

I'm on my second wind here on the couch. It's nearly 7 am. What have I bee doing? Well, I've been trying to get my disney portfolio all set up. I pulled out all the tops and made a DVD in freakin i DVD. iMovie is so great to use. What a hands on program! I have a really nice presentation now! My next plan of action is to try and print out all my layouts and put them in this here portfolio thing. Bluhhhh. I am pretty sure I am going to run out of ink before then...I wonder what I'm going to have to do. I wonder if it would be cheaper if I printed it myself. Hum Hum. Looking at the nice presentation stuff is really making my work shine like ive never seen it before. It seems almost beyond me! It's a very good feeling! I hope I can get into this internship thing. If not I will have a really nice portfolio now for any other jobs I want to do. Only thing is I havent had a spec of time to work on my freaking 3d animation homework and I feel soooo baaaaad. My teacher is really super nice and I hate to disappoint him. *shivers*

It's cold out here in the living room. The cats were playing for a long time and just recently went to sleep. Maybe if they didnt sleep all day they would be able to sleep at night instead of stampeeding around the house x_x. I never knew such small creatures could create soo much racket! Aw man I fogot to take off the excess sound on the main menu...Shit...it's taking forever to load...it has to keep rendering the loops of the stupid slides cause the music is still new. I should have clipped it. Note for the future! Hey at least you wont get tha annoying 2 seconds of music on the title screen XD

I wonder if I should go to sleep. If I sleep now my whole day is going to be screwed up. However if I don't sleep I dont believe that is very healthy. I'm not sure w

:3

2008-04-16T20:27:51Z

Tig showed this to me today! It's soo cute! Could it be Misha???

Philosophy

2008-04-14T16:42:18Z

Aristotle is interested in nature. Summation of Scientific knowledge. Hmmmmm

Existentialism: tends to focus on the question of human existence — the feeling that there is no purpose, indeed nothing, at the core of existence. Finding a way to counter this nothingness, by embracing existence, is the fundamental theme of existentialism, and the root of the philosophy's name. Given that someone who believes in reality might be called a "realist", and someone who believes in a deity might be called a "theist", therefore someone who believes fundamentally only in existence, and seeks to find meaning in his or her life solely by embracing existence, is an existentialist.

Ontological argument for the existence of God:

a controversial topic in philosophy. Many philosophers, including David Hume, Immanuel Kant, Gottlob Frege and Gaunilo of Marmoutiers, have openly criticized it.
The argument works by examining the concept of God and arguing that it implies the existence of God; that is, if we can conceive of God, God exists. This argument is often criticized as committing a bare assertion fallacy, meaning that it offers no outside premise to support it other than qualities inherent to the unproven statement.
The argument's different versions arise mainly from using different concepts of God as the starting point. Anselm, for example, starts with the notion of God as a being than which no greater can be conceived, while Descartes starts with the notion of God as being maximally perfect (as having all perfections).

A modern description of the argument
Anselm's Argument may be summarized thus:

God is, by definition, a being greater than anything that can be imagined.

Existence both in reality and in imagination is greater than existence solely in one's imagination.

Therefore, God must exist in reality; if He did not, God would not be a being greater than anything that can be imagined.

This is a shorter modern version of the argument. Anselm framed the argument as a reductio ad absurdum wherein he tried to show that the assumption that God does not exist leads to a logical contradiction. The following steps follow more closely Anselm's line of reasoning:

God is that entity than which nothing can be greater.

The concept of God exists in human understanding.

God exists in one's mind but not in reality.

The concept of God's existence is understood in one's mind.

If God existed in reality, it would be a greater thing than God's existence in the mind.

The final step to God's existence is that God in reality must exist.

Anselm's second argument
Anselm in his Proslogion 3 made another a priori argument for God, this time based on the idea of necessary existence. He claimed that, if God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived, it is better to be necessary than contingent. Therefore, God must be necessary. To sum it up:

God is the entity than which nothing greater can be conceived.

It is greater to be necessary than not.

God must be necessary.

God necessarily exists.

Descartes Argument:
Whatever I clearly and distinctly perceive to be contained in the idea of something is true of that thing.

I clearly and distinctly perceive that necessary existence is contained in the idea of God.

Therefore, God exists.

Back to Existentialism:
Existentialism differentiates itself from the modern Western rationalist tradition of philosophers such as Descartes in rejecting the idea that the most certain and primary reality is consciousness. Descartes argues in his Meditations on First Philosophy that humans can be certain of their consciousness (which is therefore the only truth ("Cogito ergo sum")), even though humans can doubt almost all aspects of reality as illusions.
In opposition, existentialism asserts that a human finds oneself already in a world and prior context that the human cannot think away. In other words, the ultimate and unquestionable reality is not consciousness but existence ("being in the world", in the words of Heidegger). (This asserted precedence of existence vis-a-vis consciousness is a radicalization of the notion of intentionality that comes from Brentano and Husserl and that asserts that all consciousness is always a consciousness of something.)

To learn more on Existentialism go to....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism

Humanism is a broad category of ethical philosophies that affirm the dignity and worth of all people, based on the ability to determine right and wrong by appeal to universal human qualities — particularly rationality It is a component of a variety of more specific philosophical systems and is incorporated into several religious schools of thought. Humanism entails a commitment to the search for truth and morality through human means in support of human interests. In focusing on the capacity for self-determination, humanism rejects the validity of transcendental justifications, such as a dependence on belief without reason, the supernatural, or texts of allegedly divine origin. Humanists endorse universal morality based on the commonality of the human condition, suggesting that solutions to human social and cultural problems cannot be parochial.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanism

Existentialists on the subject of the Existance of God:

Some existentialists accept Nietzsche's proclamation that "God is dead"; they believe that the concept of God is obsolete.
Some existentialists, like Kierkegaard, conceive the fundamental existentialist question as man's relationship to God.
Theological existentialism, as advocated by philosophers and theologians (including Paul Tillich, Gabriel Marcel, and Martin Buber), shares tenets and themes that are central to atheistic existentialism. Just as atheistic existentialists can freely choose not to believe in God, theistic existentialists can freely choose to believe in God and, despite doubt, have faith that God exists. Belief in God is a personal choice made on the basis of a passion, faith, observation, or experience.
A further type of existentialist is agnostic existentialists, who make no claim to know whether or not there is a "greater picture"; rather, they simply assert that the greatest truth is that which the individual chooses to act upon. They feel that to know the greater picture, whether there is one or not, is impossible, or impossible so far, or of little value. Like the Christian existentialists, the agnostic believes existence is subjective.

Nihilism: (from the Latin nihil, nothing) is a philosophical position which argues that existence is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value. Nihilists generally assert some or all of the following:
There is no reasonable proof or argument for the existence of a higher ruler or creator.
Objective morality does not exist; therefore no action is preferable to any other.
Existence has no higher meaning.
The term nihilism is sometimes used synonymously with anomie to denote a general mood of despair at the pointlessness of existence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilism

Ahhh..and then there's Ethics.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics

I'm very open to talk about these subjects. I dont necessarily agree with all these schools of thought.I am exploring them all just for my own information.... It's nice to stumble upon new philosophical theories. I feel like working my philosophy muscles today :)

Oh check out this test too! Very helpful!

http://selectsmart.com/PHILOSOPHY/

I got this guy for my first philosopher most like me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baruch_Spinoza

and Cynicism!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynic

:(

2008-04-11T01:34:30Z

remember guys....furries is serious business...

B)

2008-02-27T08:27:46Z

Last night and today were totally awesome....

I went hiking...

I ate good food...

I did some commissions...

I am goin to Europe man...

X) Life...is good...

Rebirth...

2008-01-13T11:08:35Z

Well First let me start off with a hello. I haven't really talked much about whats been going on in my life activity wise as of late so I'm going to catch up on that. Being at home was interesting like I said. I learned a lot of things about my parents that was...well...interesting. >_> Anyway Montana!

I am uploading a lot of pictures so I'll just take my favorites and do kind of like...a slideshow thingy I suppose. Anyway...

SNOOOW!

Buh...I think I am just going to get a photobucket account and u guys can view at your leisure...
...so while that uploads I'll just keep writing.

Ok. So Montana was absoluetly pretty as hell. Traveling was a bitch cause we had three flights with 2 hour layouvers between each but we got there and i was very glad for it. I tried cross country skiiing and nearly impaled myself on a wooden pole...but it was a lot of fun!

Other than that..uhh..we all did a lot of drinking and had a good ol time and went up to our property in Fortine, Montana. So...amazingly pretty. So I got to see that and it has a creek and stuff and our neighbor is a Veterain from 'Nam and is all strung out and has a baby on the way with his chinese mail order bride even though hes like 60 years old or something but hes...nice...>_>; i suppose...

he has...lots of guns...lots...and lots of guns...

Uhhhrrr...So we did that...and then I went home to work on my mask more...which has really come a long way! But i didn't take pictures of it yet....so...to bad!!

So I got home and Sean and his friend were here...and I was going to initially stay at a friends house for a few nights and go to Disneyland but I had this...pressing feeling that I needed to be home for something important. I was worried about my animals and I missed Mischa a lot too so...I was just "compelled"

As I said Sean and his friend were here. Sean has been taking care of the animals and making sure they have their water and food and stuff so he has been very very helpful. However..there were unfortunately some casualties that were beyond control...

Stephon...the betta fish in the giant Martini glass that sits ontop of our big screen TV has passed. He will be sorely missed. When I saw him the water was like...this...ok I'm just going to post the picture...

As you can clearly see...dead Stephon is dead...

I was kind of expecting it...he had been kinda grumpy and frumpy for a while so it was kind of oddly funny that he died..in this like..horrible morbid kind of way. I do miss him though..he surely was a joy.

So I watched a really crazy testosterone injected assassin movie with Sean and his friend and put my stuff away and went to bed. The next morning I woke up from a dream I had about being in Russia with my mom and got up to check on my snakes...

First I got out Icarus. He was milling about his cage and I took him out and gave him fresh water and saw his was going through a really bad shed. There were pieces of his skin laying everywhere in the cage. Poor thing...so I took him and put him in the bath tub to soak and tried to keep Mischa from jumping in with him....she likes water apparently and has been making a hibit of taking showers with Sean amoung other things. Anyway...so I got him nice and wet and put him back and then I moved to the next cage. The sheddings in it looked beautiful. Then I saw Kruger. He wasn't under the hide I have for him...he wasn't moving...he was lying right ontop of the heat sourse in a very...you see...he was curled up but...he wasn't curled up the way I know him to. His tail was sort of crumpled and his head was at a strange angle. I knew just by looking at him that something was really wrong.

So I took him out. He was in such a sorry state my friends. It was really horrible. His tail was limp and he didn't even hold onto me, and he was curling his head over onto himself and his eyes were looking different ways. I had seen this before in my friends snake. It's called Inclusion Body Virius. It is a neurological virius that attcks the nervous system and creates lesions up the spine starting from the tail and ending up in the brain...killling them. Kruger was well on his way to checking out. I laid him on the ground...I tried to get him to follow objects and would touch him to try and get him to react. This snake is the fastest most intelligent creature I have ever seen...and at that moment he was just...making these very slow...arching awkward movements...

It was very painful for me to watch him be like this...however I could honestly say that these movements he was making were hauntingly beautiful in their anguish. The shapes he was making were very interesting from an artistic point of view...but we aren't talking about art here...this was my pet...and he was in pain and I needed to do something immediately.

I called the store (Prehistoric Pets) knowing that they would be able to do nothing to help me, but hopefully they would be able to put him out of his misery. This snake cost me $400 dollars of money out of my own pocket, comissions, and the inheritance of $150 I got from my recently dead grandfather. *sigh* So...me and Sean got in his car and made our way over there. He was very kind to do so...thank you Sean =).

I went to their office and there was a very nice man who talked to me about Kruger. I showed him the snake and we both agreed that he needed to be put down. He called his manager and got a canister of CO2 and they humanely euthanized him. While I was in the lobby the guy talked to me about what I needed to do to make sure that the wasn't going to happen again and even gave me a Dr Pepper to cheer me up. The manager came over, he was really really nice and professional. He told me that he was really sorry this had happened and told me they were going to give me store credit for the snake so I could get something new...

To which I was completely shocked because the store is really strict about refunds and exchanges. So...I was given pretty much a 400 dollar shopping spree at their store so I could pick out a new snake and such...

These guys were so understanding and generous. I was really taken aback by their sensitivity and kindness. He showed me the reptiles I should consider and told me about what they were like and was really patient. All the employee's were freaking out because the store credit deal him and the manager were giving me was totally rare and the owner (who couldnt answer his phone cause he was at church) was apparently going to rip them a new one for it in the morning but they didn't care. It was so awesome...

So I got new little baby, and she was cheap enough that I was able to get a new cage, lightbulb, heating pad, thermometer, and water dish for her (which I forgot at the store in my ecstacy). Sean says I should call her Ruby... she is a Brazilian Rainbow Boa...

Just dazzling in person... When she gets older she will only get brighter and more beautiful...

Oh..I forgot..then I was sitting waiting for Kruger to be taken care of this old man came up to me and Sean and asked me about my snake. I told him about the disease and he said "Well that's life" and I kind of thought in the back of my head like..well thaat certainly is a way to feel about it yes...like i wanted to be like well..yah but it still sucks! But he turned around and walked away and he had one arm...and i was just like ...

wow..that could totally be in a freaking movie scene. I dunno..maybe you ha to be there to feel that way.

Soo..I took this baby home and gave her a little tray of water and a teacup to sleep in (shes under it right now it's very adorable) and tomorrow I am going to start cleaning out Icarus' cage. All of the animals cages need to be cleaned and washed with bleach solution so that this disease does not infect any of the other snakes. So I am very worried about SARS because she either gave it to Kruger or has now contracted it from Kruger and could pass it on. IBV works differently in Boas. Pythons drop dead while Boas carry it and spread it. Sometimes they can hold it for years without showing any signs, or never get sick at all. So there is going to have to be some serious talk about it cause the virus is really really contagious. The guy at the store even told me that when I got in the house I needed ot change clothes and wach them along with anything else that touched the cage...including tongs and anything else that came in contact with Kruger. So yah...it's still a very serious situation that needs to be taken care of. 8(

But anyway. Pumpkin ate today and she is kickin real good. The new snake ate as soon as I brought her home and is fat and happy under her little teacup house...and Icarus is a big dumb sweetheart..as always...

So yah! I'm home and ready for school!

-=works on everyones Christmas presents=-

BORK BORK BORK!!!! ORK!!! ORKK!!!!

2008-01-11T11:43:37Z

tonight FA explooded...

the cause?

Soopidity...

The star of the show?

Hida...

The topic?

The glory which is vore.....

ROFL!!!

LULZ

2008-01-11T11:41:35Z

...will edit more later

Ren and Stimpy is good for the soul....

2008-01-07T04:15:39Z

VICTORY

2008-01-07T01:39:21Z

i just woke up...i have defeated the sunlight...

i have officially slept the day away...

I am officially a nightwalker XD

Fresh air

2008-01-06T12:33:37Z

Well I certainly have been up to a lot of stuff the past week. Montana was really fun. I would upload pictures but I was a genious and forgot to bring the transfer cable XD. I got some great pictures of the landscape out there, really beautiful stuff out of our 5 acre property too. I don't really want to talk about anything negative in this post, but let's just call it a review I suppose.

As I have stated..well probably not on LJ but on FA..I had a new years piece. My resolution is so bring up my self esteem and be a more independant and all in all better person to myself. School is a tough thing, especially art school, everything is so like "what you make of it." My issue has been setting my self up for ineviable dissapointment by setting my standards and goals to that of which I am not able to achive at this point in my relatively young life. This way of thinking is both a curse and a blessing, as i will not settle for mediocrity, but I will also not even give myself the pleasure of enjoying something I have done because it is not to parr with my unattainable expectations. Therefore. I think it is healthy for a person to strive for exellence, but I have to remind myself that I am in school and that I am, in fact, in the act of learning. I think a few of you who know me well have heard me say...

"I have a lot to learn." "I have so much to learn still." Stuff like that...

When I do this it's like. I know I'm learning, but I am depressed at the fact that I am having to learn in the firstplace, as if I feel that at this point in my life I should have the said lesson learned and mastered at this point, and that I am a failure for having to learn or relearn this lesson.

3D Computer animation for example. I am having to take a new class in this unsavory subject because I know it is imperative that I learn it...again. I just have to remind myself that I am going to learn and go at my own pace...

I tend to think I'm a good person. I'm fairly certain that I know what I'm doing in a lot of things. I just wish that I would be able to rely on my parents for good advice about things, but...that brings me to a different tangent all together.

I am happy that I have been away from home, but being here with them for the holidays has really opened my eyes to a few things about them...which I guess makes me even more happy that I'm not living here...

What I have learned:

-Father: He's misunderstood, even though he can be a real jerk sometimes. He is probably the most faniancially and psycologically trapped person I know. He wants to impress his friends more than he wants to impart time and wisdom upon his own family. He is struggling to raise not only me and my sister, but my half sister, and all of his immature friends...note to self: immature people raising other immature people equals NO. He has a career that advocates a certain lifestyle.

Work is play...Home is work...

where do you think he wants to be? Is it good? No. But hey I can't really blame him, he's married to my mother...

Mother- Well apparently things are much different than what I've experienced over the phone. You see my mother loves to do this thing where she will call me about once a week or something to talk to me about a bunch of shit that my father did. Well I've seen it all in action now and I know what the hell is making her feel the way she does. Is it true all the shitty bad things my dad is doing? Yah sort of, but she pretty much brings it upon herself by being a neurotic and disgruntled grouch about everything. Do I feel bad for her? Yes and No. She knows everything she needs to do to make her situation better, but she'd MUCH rather get on the phone and boohoo to her friends and ME about how horrible her life is. Any time I would ask her why she was upset, I would automatically get a responce that either dismissed it, or had NOTHING to do with anything...an example...

"Mom why are you so upset? What's wrong?"

"Huh oh? N-nothing. I wan' a scoop of ice cream."

This can be very frustrating...so about three days into being around her I just had to stop giving a shit if she looked upset or not because I can't get anything out of her. She has no interest in bettering herself psycologically. She doesn't want her issues to be fixed, because if she really did she would have gone to counseling like she promised me...a YEAR ago. She just wants to talk AT YOU about her problems so she can wallow in her delicious misery. So the thing that's really been driving me crazy is because you will give her all this advice, and then she'll turn it around as if you had attacked her....so...I just can't talk to her about her problems anymore. I can't like..affect her at all. Or if I do it's only for a second before she justifies all her shit with someting else that makes no sense...

Now I can't even imagine what being married to her is like if I've only been with her for about a week and I've gotten very close to wanting to punch her in the face. She's completely vain, is only interested in if that dream you have is "Gonna make you some money", and when I'm going to get a boyfriend...

New years ended in a shitfest. I had gotten really upset about being up there in Montana without anyone I knew or anyone my age...My dad was on stage and my mom was sucking down wine like it was going out of style, so I started crying and she was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I told her I was lonely...

I always know that telling my mom what's wrong with me..especially about something like that because then she gets into this whole "i told you so" i kind of mode that is meant to impart maternal wisdom.

So she caught up with me later and basically offered me a sure fire way to get boyfriends if I would have some "normalcy" and wear makeup and dress feminine. Then started to barate me about what kind of man I want in my life...even going to the extent of mocking my father and their relationship..who was standing next to me...

so ya that night was -=thumbs up=- especially when my dad told her to "shut the fuck up."

But the drama-lamma of my folks aside...Montana is beautiful...*happy sigh*
Drinking Alpines and sitting in a hot tub while it is snowing is just the most peaceful thing in the world...

Speaking of like..traveling to awesome places...I still have my hopes of going to Europe this summer. I'm going to do everything I can to make this work...I don't care how many essays to my folks i have to write or how many comissions i have to do to raise money...I just have to go...I can already feel the tickets in my hand because nothing is impossible. As long as I dream it I can believe it..and I am going to have my feet sinking into some soft European and Russian soils...I'll be ontop of the world.

So...ya independence and my identity. Gotta find those...

I came back to my mask...it didn't look as miserable as i remembered...which was very good for me as u could imagaine cause ive been worried about my progress. I think things will be looking good. I am looking forward to having it dry and setting the teeth in..again...i say again cause i had put them in at a wrong angle and i needed them to fit in with the lower jaw. This thing is going to look WICKED! Fangs for days! B)

oh and Jessie, Tig, Kelli, Aly...i have a sure fire awesome way to give you all cool presents that are like... easy on me cash (i have none) and like...really special sappy crappy. It's hard to explain...I just have to do it...o_o;;

Death of a Year

2008-01-01T01:28:08Z

Happy New Years Everyone... =) Here's to 2008

X_X

2007-12-29T11:30:08Z

www.timelife.com/saturdaynight

I want this so bad...my blankness...

oh god my blackness aint' goint' tah let meh go!

Let meh! OH!!

DAMN U TIMELIFE! 9.95 and free shipping my ASS!!!

COSTUME OMFG

2007-12-27T12:32:43Z

as you can see...the collander is meant for great costume making....

OH NOES MY HORNZZZZ

is that the beginnings of an ugly baboon face!????

OMG

2007-12-25T22:12:15Z

ok Airu heres a little X-mas present...

some sexy stephons...

or at least his pitiful attempt at trying to seduce you into X-mas lovins....

what the hell is he wearing.....

*facepalm*

maybe if he loves you enoughyou can convine him to wear something *ahem* less...well...

Stephon: It is not gay! And if you are thinking it is purple it is NOT! It is MAUVE!!! >8C

(tries not to point out the obvious visual pun) XD

MOAR AGAINZZZZ

2007-12-25T21:23:18Z

poor corvo...is ugly nosferatu face ruined christmas....

and he ate all the snacks!!!

moar!!

2007-12-25T21:04:35Z

I think I'm on a roll...

B)

2007-12-25T20:45:15Z

A little somethin somethin for my Silverpoot....

Tis the season...to be covered in chocolate...

my dirty secret

2007-12-25T14:18:54Z

I was a bando in highschool... this was 2003

I played tuba/trumpet/ and susaphone (the big ass tuba for marching)

This is me and my susaphone....

this is me...in my susaphone case/dressingroom

This is me being a tuba child....

This is me with NO ASS

Can you find the emokid?

This is me and my fwiends :3

...lord im scary looking

AND ANOTHER!!!

2007-12-25T13:05:50Z

MERRY Christmas from Katje-land

XD

this one actually doesnt suck as badly...